The Spiral Of Life

A journey of healing is a commitment to being present as much as is possible at any given point along the way.

Through this awareness, I have found myself revisiting old behaviors and facing the same emotional triggers periodically throughout my journey. This can be frustrating. No matter how much work I do, I always seem to attract potential for the same experiences over and over again.

Just last week I could feel myself beginning to procrastinate and couldn’t understand where it was coming from. I decided to let it be for a few days as I was aware we were still going through the process of the full moon.

But it persisted. So much in fact, that I began to procrastinate about procrastinating... You can imagine the potential for this to become quite frustrating. I decided I would confide in a close friend who helps me to redirect in times like these. After a few minutes of talking with him, I remembered the whole point of why I was going through this.

I remembered a vision that I'd had while in an Ayahuasca ceremony this year. I was stuck on a thought process loop, which was comprised of little thought process loops. Loops on loops…. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out how to get off the process. In fact, the experience got so intense for me that the Shaman had to come and help me to relax and focus.

For the days and weeks following this event, I couldn’t fully understand what the vision was showing me.

I did however understand that I, like almost every person alive, have subconscious belief systems that keep me engaged in recurring behaviors and thought patterns. This much was clear. But I couldn’t understand how to get off the loop without help. I saw every recurring pattern that I engage with, every behavior and every projection.

Unfortunately, I got no answer right away. It took me some time and a lot of being present and aware of myself to finally get what was being shown to me. Finally, after this discussion with my friend, it clicked.

The reality of my vision, and indeed my own reality is, while I grow and expand, my world around me evolves also. Therefore, there is no loop. My realization of the truth left me speechless. I realized that the spiral of life is of course present in my experience. I am part of the spiral of life. I AM the spiral of life!

When I revisited my Ayahuasca experience, I realized on closer inspection that my vision was in fact a spiral. I was being shown my evolution as I spiraled through behaviors and encounters, each behavior being affected by each encounter and each encounter being affected by each behavior, continuously spiraling and evolving through my entire life, on every level. The realization that the encounters and behaviors would continue to be there, ever evolving with me along my journey, shocked me a little. This was a game changer. Doing the work to evolve through these situations is what it is all about!

With this new perspective, I am able to welcome all recurring behaviors back in for reworking, healing and growing. Now I realize with each revolution of the spiral, I grow and expand and therefore change the behaviors and thought processes. Just like diluting a drink over and over many times, with each revolution, the healing process dilutes the behavior a little more, until it becomes unrecognizable, and in time, possibly even a strength. Which in turn eventually renders the encounter stagnant and nonrecurring. What a breakthrough, that is, until the next round of course. I pray that I can remember to remember this the next time.

This spiral of life is always present, it IS life.

We can choose to be present and aware of our input into our own and indeed other peoples personal spiral or not, either way the spiral will continue to r-evolve. How our lives evolve is entirely our own choice. There is no end, no finish line, no goal!!! There is only change, growth and the constant Revolution of Evolution.

I stand strong and tall as I walk through the valley of my soul, the smoldering embers of the victims pain and suffering behind me. As I walk away, Humbled, Empowered and Victorious, I walk  into my heart remembering how beautiful i truly am.

Published
December 6, 2022
Author
Andrew Mee
Category
Thoughts
Thoughts & poetry

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Remap

The map of life is a beautiful and exciting collection of experiences. Each experience we choose is uniquely amazing in its own way and will only ever happen once.

Life is about experiencing each moment in as much depth as you possibly can because you will never get a second chance at that experience. There is only ever one first time.

A loss of something dear to you is something you should explore and understand, appreciate it fully because that feeling of loss that you are experiencing is verification that it made a difference to your life. Celebrate the loss by fully experiencing it. Then let it go, to allow yourself to experience something new. Not to replace it but rather to move on to something else that can fulfil your life and allow yourself to gain once again something life changing.

Its been a year since my last blog post. After coming back home from Peru, the personal journey that I had undertaken began to present opportunities to heal and expand myself. I went through a few months of ups and downs, each experience presenting old patterns that needed attention. With each redirection, a new experience presented itself to be explored.

I had the most amazing summer last year with a very dear friend. We spent our days meditating and exploring many ideas and subsequently had some very deep conversations that fundamentally changed our perspective of many areas of our lives.

One of these discussions was about the world view of the divine feminine and divine masculine and the battle that is being waged within each and every human being as a result. We are conditioned to reject balance within ourselves which has caused a wide feeling of unknowing. It has caused people to search and drive towards money and personal achievements in a bid to feel whole and accomplished. But we are at soul level, at source, neither feminine nor masculine. We are only pure energy. We are at our core, already balanced. We need not search outside for what we contain within.

This discussion led me to explore my own internal balance and thus began to present many areas of my life that I had neglected or damaged as a result of this conditioning. And so, I began to align myself with the next phase of my healing journey.

About 5 years ago, I began to manifest a series of events and arguments that subsequently ended up in my loosing contact with my 3 children. Those events are not important to me now. What is important is what they led me to realise about myself and the world we live in. I realise now that I had completely rejected my internal feminine self and as a result had waged an external attack on all the women in my life who presented any sort of challenge to me. I began looking for reasons to distance myself from them. My internal balance was hugely off, and so my external world mirrored that back to me. Instead of trying to find a balance with these women and create a place of understanding, I created my experience outside to match what I was feeling inside.

Through my journey I have learned some very interesting soul connection techniques that can literally help to shape your reality. This very potent level of meditation coupled with the law of attraction can bring the experiences you want to have into your life with great speed and precision. So, I began to put to work everything I had learned.

Over the coming days and weeks, I built my desired reality in my heart and in my being. I Imagined this with ultimate clarity and precision. I imagined myself sitting in a soft chair in front of my little old house with the love of my life sitting next to me while we enjoyed the sun and the soft breeze on our faces. I could see My eldest daughter and my son coming up to the house to visit, bringing with them my youngest daughter, their half sister. I imagined laughing and joking with the mothers of my children and their partners, one big happy family, everyone getting along and wanting to help each other. I imagined us all sharing pure love together, family love.

I sat with this vision and built on it for a number of weeks, creating it ever more clearer and bringing it closer with every added detail. Then, quite naturally, I stopped the process and had forgotten about it until one day, only a few weeks ago, my mum brought up my eldest daughter in conversation. I believed she would be back, and without setting a time frame or having any expectations, i remembered the vision. I reminded my mum that she would be back and not to set any limits. We left it at that.

One day out of the blue just last week, my eldest daughters mum called to tell me that my daughter wanted to arrange a meeting. This was the first contact I'd had in almost two years. I was ecstatic! I knew that the work I had done on myself in healing the imbalance coupled with visualising my desires for the future had begun to materialise. I took a deep breath, and without expectation, I began to open up a line of loving and understanding communication with her.

This is my chance to create something new after I have grieved and healed the old.

Remapping your life takes a lot of courage in facing yourself, requires a lot of tears and pain to heal, and calls for action when an opportunity presents itself. Treat people how you expect to be treated. Be kind, be humble, be a visionary.

RE-MAP YOUR DREAM

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Believe
Belief is when the clock stops, but time keeps moving.
Belief is in the moment you realize there still more.
Belief is everything you dreamed of right now.
Belief is knowing you deserve everything.
Belief is feeling you need nothing.
Belief is seeing your past unfold into something quite beautiful.