Ego Death

The ego is a very powerful tool within our society. The whole model is used and pushed very well and has been for 1000s of years. Since history was recorded, the biggest egos of the planet have ruled it for their own personal gain and still now today that is exactly what is happening. The ego wants the big flash car and the two holiday's and the big house. The heart only wants to be happy.

I dont know about you but I would be happy enough once I had my family around me. Thats the important parts that most of us forget until we are old and our family has grown up and moved on to start their own family. Its amazing how we creatures of desire allow ourselves to be operated by a system built on greed.

Over the past number of weeks and months indeed, Ive been slowly coming to a realisation. Our own desire and greed indeed for our lifestyles is fueled completely by ego. We are all romantic on some level, and always hear close ones saying "follow your heart", but we never do! We follow our ego, all the way!! The heart is involved in feeling love, but the ego is involved in feeling hate or resentment. Once the heart falls in love, it never falls out of it!!

So with this realisation I decided I wanted to do some ego work. Without actually thinking too much about it I just started working on some painful memories and the ego work just seemed to evolve as a knock on effect. It came on very strong and truly was by far the most amazingly beautiful, powerful work I have ever done and also terrifying, although it doesn't have to be that way. I had no idea that the memories I was trying to come to terms with were the very experiences that my relationship ego was built upon. So therefore I was not prepared for what was coming as a result of breaking through.

I actually felt like I was dieing. I had to push my whole being to force myself to let go of the pain, so much so that my ego couldn't hold on to it any longer. So as a last attempt to save itself my ego knocked me out. Haha what a bloody experience!! I will keep the full details of this ego death for my book of course 😊.

The ego is an amazingly powerful thing. The fear I felt during that experience was terrifying. I wasn't dieing of course, I was letting go of what had been making my decisions for me for the past number of years. That level of control wasn't going to be given up without a fight. So now I know there is an easier way. There is still a lot of very hard work involved, but no dramatics at the end and nobody dies, mentally, emotionally or actually hahaha, we just let go!

This picture inset was taken four days after my relationship ego death. I was receiving a beautiful flower bath from a friend. The smell of the flowers was amazing and just captivated me entirely. Haha I wasn't even aware that another friend was there taking a picture of it hahaha. I am glad he did though. He cought a moment of complete and total freedom in me that I wouldn't have otherwise seen from the outside. I sure was feeling it though hahaha and thanks to this friend I will be able to tap into that memory whenever I want to. So thankyou G-Man for that shot 😊.

Embrace your fears

Let go of what doesn't serve you

And Be Free

Published
December 6, 2022
Author
Andrew Mee
Category
Thoughts
Thoughts & poetry

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Latest Thoughts
Magic

This beautiful place of Iquitos has a magic around it that I have yet to be able to put into words.

It is pretty much run down to a level that would be condemned in Ireland. There is extreme poverty and anyone without a job has to sell something to make ends meat. There are majestic wetlands and gigantic flowing rivers. Giant butterflies and tiny lizards.

Every night there is a huge gathering of local people on the boulevard to chat and laugh and watch the comedians, musicians and artists who come there to make a few Soles in tips.

The charm and character of this place is just mesmerising. Of course it is the people.

I have often been to a city and remarked on its beauty but was astounded by the arrogance or ignorance of the people.

Iquitos is the first city I've visited that is the complete opposite, it is wrecked and run into the ground, but I absolutely love it and more importantly I love the people in it who hold this beautiful energy here!

There is at present a tourism industry in Iquitos which has been dubbed Ayahuasca tourism.

Ayahuasca is a psychoactive substance that has been brewed for many 1000's of years by the native tribes people in order to seek guidance from their spirits for many things. There are many other plant mixtures that they drink but Ayahuasca is the drink of choice for tourists because of its effects to the psyche.

Nowadays and for many years now, westerners have come here for this guidance from the local Shamans, the guidance of choice now being health and well being.

Hence the term Ayahuasca tourism.

There is a dangerous knock on affect of this though. As the local population is so poor and many are starving, there seems to be an abundance of shamans walking the boulevard punting for your business. Many offering ayahuasca ceremonies for knock down prices. Really no different than drug dealers if I'm honest. Most of them are irresponsible in their approach and really don't care about your well being.

I do feel for these Shamans though, because they are only doing what they have to in order to survive, but that shouldn't be at the potential cost of another persons life.

Ayahuasca is an extremely powerful psychoactive substance that digs down into the depths of the mind to unearth broken parts of the human psyche in order to allow the patient to heal and live a better standard of life as a result.

It is simple really, but in the wrong hands, this powerful indigenous brew can kill. The indigenous people will actually rarely allow a first comer to drink straight away without going on a strict diet for a number of days before hand because the effects of the western diet when mixed with Ayahuasca can be potentially fatal.

Unfortunately a lot of these Del Boy Shamans as I call them, really only care about the notes in your wallet. So any wounded tourist coming in search of healing should be extremely careful in their approach to their healing. Cheap and cheerful could cost you your life. I am of course willing to guide anyone to the right healer. Just drop me an email and I will help to arrange the best possible treatment for you.

Even in knowing this though, I too got taken in by a trickster, a less than worthy healer. But in this case, he was very well accomplished and I later found out he is a very well know man but for all the wrong reasons.

This man was in fact a Brujo.

A Brujo is one who practices black magic. This one in particular, goes around the country stealing people's medicine, magic, healing power, gifts or whatever you are more comfortable calling it.

Now, personally I was always of the mind set that one had to be willing to give in to such magic or darkness in order to be succumbed by it. But I was wrong, well momentarily anyway.

Anyway here is a short account of what happened, I will keep the intricate details for my book 😉,

I went to the ceremoy with some friends which was very authentic, and really nice. When the ceremony was in full swing, this man in question sang me one of his healing songs in his native tongue. It was very beautiful indeed. I lay back and journeyed till the early hours and fell asleep. The next morning I woke and felt very weird. On top of that I was absolutely destroyed in insect bites, well over 200 I'd say. Wow!!

So a few days passed and I was getting a bigger and bigger sense that something wasn't right. I couldn't write any poetry, no song lyrics could come to mind, no blog post ideas popping in and even my hands weren't getting hot anymore. It was so weird.

So as the days rolled by and one conversation passed over another, the topic came up about this guy and the ceremony was mentioned. Well what I was told was jaw dropping. He took my medicine!! I couldn't believe it!!

So another few days went by and I was trying to figure out how to get this sorted and all of a sudden one night here in my apartment I decided I was going to sort it right here and now.

So i went to my room and closed my eyes to meditate. I called in all my training that I had learned down through the years to perform a cleansing on myself. I said my prayers and cleared my Chakras like My reiki master showed me, then I released any blocks from any lower energy forms from head to toe, my vibration was boosting up at this stage, I could feel my skin burning, and with another sweep and calling in all my guides, my helpers and archangels and any unemployed angels, I cocooned myself in 7 of my choosen angels wings, a shield of the arcana. This was the icing on the cake thanks to my IIY teacher 😊.

Well all I can say is wow. I was back. I felt really present and back to myself after it. One thing that struck me during the ceremony was the smell of human feces. I later found out that that is a classic Brujeria sign.

So now I am delighted to realize that I was originally right, I can resist black dark energy, but I got lazy with my protection. It is something we must practice every day.

Haha this story for many of you may seem far fetched, but there are many ways to look at this scenario.

This way of life is now my chosen profession and my gift. There are tricksters in every walk of life. They are there to test us and push our buttons. How much do you want this way of life? How much crap are you going to put up with before you step into your power? It's always been up to us haha!!!

We have to look after ourselves 😀

We must step into our own power....

What is your hidden power?

Free your true Magic 😊

Latest Poetry
A Healers Prayer
I pray for me to be there for you,
To hold space and to care for you,
To clear my vision and open my eyes,
To see your despair and to realize.
I pray for me to be humble and pure,
To sing healing songs while you tumble and cure,
To send out love and ground down that pain,
While the tears from your cry fall around you like rain.
I pray for me to trust this old process,
To heal myself true and open this fortress,
To beg for forgiveness, respect and love,
To honor this journey that is guided from above.
I pray for me to watch you grow,
While you wander around with that wonderful glow,
To pray for you while you pray to be free,
I'll sit in this love, in this honor and see.