This word is new to me, yet the notion of it is ingrained in my consciousness.
For many years, right back to my childhood, I have been pondering this notion....
And yet, I have felt it for reasons I am unable to make clear sense of....
Many of my uncles, aunties, cousins and even siblings have traveled the world down through the years but none without destination or design that I am aware of.
This word is a revelation to me!!
For many years I thought I must be crazy...
The notion of heading to one place or another somewhere over the horizon, not yet decided in this present moment...
Clinging tightly to.... trust!?
Ha Ha!!
Crazy? Well... probably!
Not normal? Well.... As a good old friend of mine once said... "Show me normal, and I'll show you a liar".... Ha Ha!!! I truly love that statement BC.

So, I must Trust...

Trust my destiny unfolds with cause bringing me ever closer to my unknown destination...
Where I am to be....
At that right time...
For that right reason...
To do that or hear that or witness that one thing... Or not...
Maybe the whole purpose is to be "there"...
Wherever "there" is...
The idea of this has been a kind of dream of mine, and for many people out there I'm sure.
To trust in ones journey so implicitly without destination, To just be in every moment, every step, every breath...
Its an amazing notion indeed.

"To travel in a purposeful manner towards a vague destination"

A total leap of faith!

Sometimes in life we must take a leap of faith.
For many out there, that leap of faith is much closer to home and yet every bit as blindfolded as my leap of faith.
Your migration, Your new job offer, You new marriage proposal, Your new baby plans, Your first home etc....
A leap of faith is always a total trust that everything will be OK, and will be as it was meant to be...
So, I have no true idea why I am going or where, or how long for.
From there, my mystery will unfold, moment by moment, experience by experience, until I feel that my purpose has been completed.
Some may say it is an early mid life crisis...

Ha ha!!

Well... So what if it is?

I am the one jumping!!

December 6, 2022
Andrew Mee
Thoughts & poetry

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Latest Thoughts
Ego Death

The ego is a very powerful tool within our society. The whole model is used and pushed very well and has been for 1000s of years. Since history was recorded, the biggest egos of the planet have ruled it for their own personal gain and still now today that is exactly what is happening. The ego wants the big flash car and the two holiday's and the big house. The heart only wants to be happy.

I dont know about you but I would be happy enough once I had my family around me. Thats the important parts that most of us forget until we are old and our family has grown up and moved on to start their own family. Its amazing how we creatures of desire allow ourselves to be operated by a system built on greed.

Over the past number of weeks and months indeed, Ive been slowly coming to a realisation. Our own desire and greed indeed for our lifestyles is fueled completely by ego. We are all romantic on some level, and always hear close ones saying "follow your heart", but we never do! We follow our ego, all the way!! The heart is involved in feeling love, but the ego is involved in feeling hate or resentment. Once the heart falls in love, it never falls out of it!!

So with this realisation I decided I wanted to do some ego work. Without actually thinking too much about it I just started working on some painful memories and the ego work just seemed to evolve as a knock on effect. It came on very strong and truly was by far the most amazingly beautiful, powerful work I have ever done and also terrifying, although it doesn't have to be that way. I had no idea that the memories I was trying to come to terms with were the very experiences that my relationship ego was built upon. So therefore I was not prepared for what was coming as a result of breaking through.

I actually felt like I was dieing. I had to push my whole being to force myself to let go of the pain, so much so that my ego couldn't hold on to it any longer. So as a last attempt to save itself my ego knocked me out. Haha what a bloody experience!! I will keep the full details of this ego death for my book of course 😊.

The ego is an amazingly powerful thing. The fear I felt during that experience was terrifying. I wasn't dieing of course, I was letting go of what had been making my decisions for me for the past number of years. That level of control wasn't going to be given up without a fight. So now I know there is an easier way. There is still a lot of very hard work involved, but no dramatics at the end and nobody dies, mentally, emotionally or actually hahaha, we just let go!

This picture inset was taken four days after my relationship ego death. I was receiving a beautiful flower bath from a friend. The smell of the flowers was amazing and just captivated me entirely. Haha I wasn't even aware that another friend was there taking a picture of it hahaha. I am glad he did though. He cought a moment of complete and total freedom in me that I wouldn't have otherwise seen from the outside. I sure was feeling it though hahaha and thanks to this friend I will be able to tap into that memory whenever I want to. So thankyou G-Man for that shot 😊.

Embrace your fears

Let go of what doesn't serve you

And Be Free

Latest Poetry
Belief is when the clock stops, but time keeps moving.
Belief is in the moment you realize there still more.
Belief is everything you dreamed of right now.
Belief is knowing you deserve everything.
Belief is feeling you need nothing.
Belief is seeing your past unfold into something quite beautiful.